Thanksgiving, Dreams, and Jersey

To start with, Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope we all remember the wonderful blessings we have in this life and share them with those we love.
I spent thanksgiving at my sister's house and it was great.  The whole family...well minus one who's off at school...came.  It was fun.

In any case, I'm so thankful for everything I have, but I woke up this morning  after having this great dream.  One of those, this could be my life and why aren't I living it yet because now I wake up and feel like crap about myself because I got to see everything I ever wanted in this dream and now I don't have any of it.  Yeah...it was a great dream, but see, that's the problem with dreams I guess, is that no matter how wonderful they are, you always end up waking up.  I didn't even want to get out of bed at first because just thinking about the dream had me feeling depressed about myself, and looking at past relationships and just feeling a little down on myself.  But thankfully, I'm not one to dwell too long on things that make me sad.

In about 2 hours, I am going to wake up, get dressed in layers upon layers of clothes, climb in a car, sleep, and drive with my dad and some other guys from church to New Jersey.  There, we will help clear roads, gut houses, and whatever else they need us to do for the recovery effort from hurricane sandy.  I'm really excited to start helping.  Don't worry though, I'll update when I can.  ....Not that anyone really reads this or anything....but anyways.

Time to try and sleep for the little while that I have left before its time to leave I guess...too bad I feel too wired to actually sleep...

Pixi

Brake Fluid and Decorum

So, having been about...a week.  I figured I would post again.  I've learned some interesting things this week, like how to swallow a nasty pill of emotion when all you want to do is cry, but you can't because you have someone else you need to go take care of and talk to without letting them know that you're upset about whatever it is going on in your life.  Yup.  That was a tough one.  But I apparently succeeded.  I've also learned that the clutch of my car has a TEENY TINY leak.  As in it's leaking brake fluid.  So I  need to make sure that I check that more frequently.  Otherwise, my car doesn't like to go into gear.  Not so good.  Actually, VERY bad.

And finally, I've learned a little something about decorum.  There are a million examples of how women can act with decorum, and my mother is probably one of the best examples to me in that facet.  But I had the privilege of helping out at an event for another family, and sadly, felt a little embarrassed by some of the behavior that I observed.  It was supposed to be a very special gathering for this family's daughter, and they wanted it to seem really formal, but it really was just....bad.  I hate to say it, I mean the whole thing looked beautiful, but obviously not everyone got the memo....  The daughter at this event was a little less than gracious to some of the people that came and volunteered as well which, in my mind, was kind of disappointing and a bit of an appalling behavior in and of itself.  I really wanted to be her friend and talk to her and get to know her, but she on being introduced to me, COMPLETELY ignored me.  In the two days I was there helping, she never said "hello" or "thank you" or, well, anything at ALL to me.  I wish there was something I could have done to change her behavior towards me, I understand that she was probably stressed or upset, or frustrated with the chain of events....and its a lesson to take to heart for me.  One that says, I should check and evaluate my own behavior towards others and make sure that I am always treating them with kindness and respect, even when I may not be feeling so kind myself, I should always treat everyone judiciously.

In any case, its November, and lots of people are doing their "Thankful For" posts.  And on top of that there is Veteran's Day.  The thing is for me, pretty much any and every day should be veteran's day.  I'm glad that our nation has dedicated 1 day to it, but there is so much more to it than that.  Also there is a lot of arguing and frustration about the election.  Honestly, all we can do now is pray.  It is a sign of the times, the way that our country is progressing now, and all we can do is pray for those in charge that they will do what they believe to be best for this country, whether we agree with them or not.  So, now, I'm done...there's a lot more I'd like to say, butt I actually have a room to clean, and everything that I'd like to talk about would take a life time.  So, until next time.

*Pixi

Birthdays, Batman, and...Hurricane Sandy

So, today is the 28th day of the month of October.  Meaning, it's my 21st birthday.  Meaning...absolutely nothing has changed.  I mean really.  I think I said it best on the phone, my judgement is impaired enough as a 21 year old, I don't need to impair it worse by drinking alcohol.

Because everyone is wondering, here's the big secret.  I did absolutely...nothing for my birthday.  Well, so far.  I got a card from my grandmother, who is wonderful.  It is the most beautiful card ever, but she always sends the most beautiful cards, but on top of that it fits my personality perfectly. :)  Then of course, there was the obligatory "liking" of every happy birthday posted on my facebook.  Woohoo.  Can you say party?  Of course, my mother is such an instigator.  Which is kinda funny.  I really don't mind not doing much of anything.  Yeah, I would like to do something fun with my friends and my family, but I understand that we all have lives and are all really busy.  Its not that big of a deal, on top of that, my birthday is right before Halloween, so on the weekend I would throw a party or something, EVERYONE else is throwing Halloween parties...so its really not worth the fight to me.  I kinda gave up a long time ago on that fight.  I need to remember to write a letter to Nanny (my grandmother) to thank her for the card.  In any case, I went to church and played the piano for the primary program which is always interesting, and I conducted the music...which I was asked to do again.  Okay, story time I guess...
 *** Last Sunday, I was sitting at church with my family and they go through all of the announcements and say what the opening song is going to be.  The intro music to the song starts playing and I look up and notice that ALL 3 members of the bishopric are STARING at me.  All of a sudden I'm freaking out wondering what I did, and then one of them waves his hand like a conductor.  Then it hits me full in the face, so I rush up to the stage to conduct the opening hymn wondering where I'm supposed to stand and where a darn hymnal is.  It was rather comical, but I got a little more notice this week which was nice. ***  End of story time.

So continuing on with my run down of my birthday, as I said, I went to church, and then I came home and watched the 6 hour version of Pride & Prejudice from BBC (the one with Colin Firth) which in my humble opinion is the only one worth watching.  Then I ate chili for dinner and brownies and ice cream for dessert.  Then I took a shower and cleaned the bath tubs and filled them with water.  Sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching it fill up was where I sat as I began writing.  Then I prayed and prayed and prayed that school would be cancelled for tomorrow...which is now today....and now today there is an announcement that school and clinicals are cancelled for tomorrow too.  Which is kinda good and kinda bad.  I don't mind, but its gonna be interesting the recovery from this "Frankenstorm" (hurricane Sandy).

But on another topic.  I went to a Halloween dance Saturday since Halloween is this week.  I dressed as Batgirl. And I looked pretty awesome.  Don't you think?

 It was a "no masks allowed" party, so I got creative with my make up. :)

Well, that's it for now I guess...time to do some reading for whenever school gets back in session...
Stay safe and dry!!

<3 Pixi

Boys, School, and Perspective

So, it's been a few days, but I've been pretty busy.  Well, "pretty" is probably a bit of an understatement.  As a nursing student they like to keep us on our toes with our schedule and our school work...so I don't know how consistent I will be throughout the rest of...forever.  But I'm doing all right so far.

To start with, I wanted to share a few thoughts with you about men.  As an (ALMOST) 21 year old, I actually have...well...just about ZERO experience.  Well...not zero, but pretty close.  I've been in MAYBE one "relationship," but I'd rather not go there.  The past is the past for a reason.  But this is blog did come for Disney inspiration, so I thought I might share some perspective that Disney movies have given me on boys.

Let's be honest now....  Real world?  Most men are like Shang.  Honest, but not mushy.  Logical.  Not super sweet and romantic.  It really just doesn't happen all that often, and girls, it's about time we just faced it.  If you're looking for your prince charming...he probably looks and acts nothing like you expected...if you've found him, then Congratulations!!  There are women singing your praises and wishing they were you all over the world.  Our lives aren't perfect, and our love lives are probably the farthest thing from perfect we'll ever see.  But be happy, because the boys out there?  They are even more clueless than we are, because they are spending so much time trying not to say the WRONG thing that they hardly ever say the RIGHT thing...and when they do, it's usually WAY later after they finally figure out what they think that we were thinking, which usually isn't half as complicated as they make it out to seem that it is.

Now, if you've followed that train of thought so far, then good for you.  Now on to other life altering thought processes.  This past week, I've had class and 3 clinicals.  One at my old high school, one at a high school that I almost went to instead, and one at......umm....oh yeah, the veterans clinic.  So a couple of milestones happened this week.  First, I gave my first IM (intramuscular) shot...on a live patient...I've practiced loads of times, but this was my first patient that I gave an injection to.  Second, my first blood draw by venipuncture (meaning from a vein) - way easier than I thought it would be.  Who'd'a thunk it that the girl who was terrified of needles growing up would be so good at using them on other people later.  Now if only my instructor hadn't been hovering and had given me a little bit of breathing room I don't think my patient would have been HALF so nervous.  Finally, I have reaffirmed my love of children.  Even the obnoxious teenage ones.  I know I hated high school, but now that I'm not in it, it is so much easier to enjoy working with, talking to, and educating high school students.  Partly because I don't really care what they think of me...and partly because I love what I'm doing.  I can't wait to be a pediatric nurse.  Some people don't figure out what they were "meant" to do with their lives until much older, I feel so blessed to have known so early what I wanted to do and to be fulfilling that wish and knowing that I'll do well there so early in my life.

Finally, a little bit of perspective on life.  Be prepared for my profound knowledge being imparted upon you. It will be impressive AND astounding.  Ready?  Life is sacred, and the memories of those we loved, and those who are lost live on in us forever.  I volunteered up in Arlington National Cemetery this past weekend. Way awesome just P.S.

(I'm the one in the air - awesome right?)

But in any case we were there walking up and down cataloging the insignia's printed on the gravestones denoting their religion.  For example: 

This is the image depicted on the gravestones of known members of my religion.

No one has gone through and done this before...so we spent about six hours walking up and down rows of gravestones just looking.  For me, its such an awe inspiring place.  I've grown up a military brat, and I'm so grateful for the sacrifices that have been made to protect and maintain my freedom's and my way of life.  My dad's Uncle and namesake fought in the Korean war and went MIA (missing in action) and was presumed dead.  He could be one of many of the unknown/unnamed buried in Arlington, but unfortunately, my family will probably never know.  But my country will be forever indebted to those men and women that lost their life.  The men and women buried here are only a fraction of the people that have lost their lives in pursuit of the life that we live every day, the way of life that we so quickly take for granted.  Next time you're stuck in traffic, or having a bad day because something in your life has gone wrong, remember them.  Remember their sacrifice for you.  Live your life, and live it well.  And NEVER forget.

They died for you.

It's the APOCALYPSE

So, yesterday was a little rough emotionally.  Basically I had a major case of the grump-monster and was taking it out on everyone...  I always feel awful after that happens, but the nice thing is, I'm getting better at catching it, so I sequester myself when it does.  I don't know, I guess maybe I was feeling a little frustrated that my birthday is coming up and my sister seems to feel that her husbands birthday is a bigger deal and hasn't even acknowledged that mine is coming up, or that one of my best friends is working and the other is going to celebrate it with her father.  I can't REALLY be mad about any of those things, I mean, I would do the same.  Family is important, and my sister's husband IS her family.  And yeah Cat HAS to work.  I'm not mad, I think I was sad and a little hurt to feel like I wasn't a priority, but it was silly and immature.  I recognize that at least.  I'm not perfect, OH MY GOSH ALERT THE MEDIA ANOTHER IMPERFECT HUMAN BEING!!!!!!  ITS THE APOCALYPSE!!!  Today was a lot better.  I've been reading the Hobbit with my brother which is fun.  I love doing all the accents and voices, although I've been a LITTLE lazy with it as of late.  But I'm SO excited because the Hobbit MOVIE is coming out this December!!!  That is SO close it is RIDICULOUS!!!

I mean...you would be freaking out too....

In any case.  Tomorrow brings a brighter day.  I'm going to Kings Dominion's Halloween Haunt with Pup tomorrow and she's coming over pretty early...I hope...to hang out before hand.  So totally stoked...just saying.  I can't wait to hang out with her, it has been WAY too long.  I always start by wanting to write sooo much and then not being able to remember half of what I want to write...this is a problem that I am going to have to work on.  I guess practice makes perfect.

Pixi

Inspiration From Disney

Well of course, isn't Disney where ALL inspiration comes from?  Mine is actually hitting me from a conversation I had recently.  I mean, who knew that I was like Peter from the movie Hook?  Apparently I am.  I've locked away that inner child that screams to have fun with everything and anything that I do.  I put it aside for responsibility.  This is me branching out and sharing how I'm trying to rediscover me.  This, is my "Happiness Project" my "Who Am I? Project" and my "Your Life As An Adventure Project" all in one...or at least the recording of my attempts at doing these things.

In this conversation its been discovered that I've only done a few things that were truly for the sake of fun...and they may not have started out that way in the first place.  So here goes my attempt at remedying this.  Time to follow my own advice.  And what's more fun than fairies??

"A goal not written down is only a wish."  Something I've repeated to myself over and over...well now its written down.  No way I can escape it now, now I have to at least TRY.

The Pixie Project